Thursday, October 28, 2010

Musings of a Mama...

I'm not sleep deprived, I don't resent motherhood, I'm not mad at Walmart, and I don't feel guilty if we eat frozen pizza for dinner once a week. I probably won't be sharing my homeade recipe for pumpkin pie, or my latest hand made creation. I love home spun creations, healthy amazing recipes, and inspiring ideals...ur...ideas too, I just am not all that. What I feel is gratitude, immense love, faith in God, and excitement about the future. What I want to leave behind is LOVE. What I want to give my children is TIME. What I want to do is GROW spiritually. Once I get all that down pat, I'll free myself to focus more on the other. Maybe I need a lot more time than others to succeed in these areas.

I don't want to look back on my life with regrets. I like being transparent. I couldn't keep up with remembering who I was supposed to be, if I weren't being myself. Did I mention that I'm not eloquent...my musings are a little more reminiscent of Alice in Wonder Land. But if I can fumble my way to express something honest that helps someone through the day, or helps someone smile...or maybe helps someone feel better about themselves because, at least they aren't like the crazy rambling lady with a big heart....then I am happy. Not sure what would lead someone to read this, nor what would lead me to write it for that matter, but if you do, I'm glad you're here. At least I will be saving paper by not writing millions of notes to myself!!! See, now there is a very eco conscious plug. ;)

Life is like a train ride on a long journey. Sometimes it goes so fast, you can't enjoy the scenery (time to slow down). Other times it goes so slow it feels like you'll never get anywhere (time to prioritize, self-reflect, be open to new opportunities). I like not knowing what's around the next corner; I have to completely trust that God is in charge of this train, and He has good things in store, as long as I don't try and take over.

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