Zoe = Life

I think we are defined, and remembered by the choices that we make. Intentions are good, ideas are wonderful, but the every day, ho hum, not so exciting choices we make are what is left behind. Sometimes I make big waves, and splashes in the water...I jump around from one idea to another filled with noble intentions. After the waves subside, though, the water is just the same...and if you are a boat trying to ride the wave, you won't get very far. Just try to hang in there, I THINK it will make sense in a moment. My six year old daughter, Zoe, is different from me in many ways. She likes to think about things for a long time, then act cautiously, and very determined.

On Halloween, Zoe (my 6 year old) inspired me. *disclaimer: This is NOT a forum for me to shout my opinions from a soap box about life, religion, or the pursuit (or shunning) of "Holy Days". It is just a place to write my memories & musings. Anyhow.....On Halloween, we went to a friend's house for a dress up, bonfire, "harvest" party. ;) Zoe had asked me, a couple of weeks prior to Halloween, what the significance of the holiday was. She said, "Mama, I know the Christian meaning of Christmas (Jesus' birth), & Easter (His resurrection); but I don't know the Christian meaning of Halloween. What does it celebrate about Jesus?!" me-panic....think....dilemna.....how deep should I go? Don't want to make a huge deal about it, but need to honor her desire to know.....ah! I HAVE to make a decision about how I view this day, and convey to her, with sensitivity, the Truth, so that she can make decisions for herself about areas that are "grey" (for me, at least). It's funny how having children forces you to reflect on and re-evaluate every decision and choice. Things that seemed to me to have no bearing or significance one way or the other before....now suddenly carry great weight. For now, my every word, deed, and choice affects two little people forever, and shapes their thoughts on life. 80

I didn't want to answer hastily, so I said, "I will check on that, and let you know." I figured the "Church" had probably hijacked this holiday, as well as many others, and attached some sort of religious significance to it also. So I googled Halloween, and read several articles about the origin, etc. And, just as I suspected, hoorah! The following day is All Saints Day to remember the dearly departed faithful in Christ. :oP So I read more, but still had not made a decision how I felt about it all. To the pure, all things are pure, right??? ;) (perhaps, the true meaning of that verse is to the "ignorant") hmmmm.....more to research. Our family LOVES to dress up! We all have multiple costumes that can be thrown together for a festive occasion. Sadly, most of mine & my husband's costumes double as our every day clothes. snicker. So, we just viewed the day as another day to don our disguises.

One Halloween, Oliver & I drove around in our 76 VW bus, dressed as hippies (a stretch, I know), passing out candy & tracts about Jesus. The night was cut short when we drove around a college campus, and someone called the police thinking we were handing out candy of a different sort. ;) Another year, a big group of friends got together, and dressed as Bible characters, and walked around passing out tracts and candy. I was a pregnant Mary on roller skates. My sister (the teacher) reads to trick or treaters the story of the Pumpkin being gutted and remade into something full of light to shine to the world (like us when Jesus cleans out the junk to fill us with His light). They sell suckers at the CBS with the story attached to hand out too. So there are many ways to use the opportunity to share Love, and have fun at the same time. That's how we view most things around here.

So, basically, I didn't come to any conclusions about how I felt about participating, although trick or treating has never felt quite right to me. And directly correlates to appeasing the "spirits", etc. (which may seem blatantly obvious to some, and utterly ridiculous to others...again....just sharing thoughts here.) So, the day rolled around, and much to my shame, I had not yet discussed it, in depth, with Zoe. It was time for all the little fairies, butterflies, Ninjas, and Lions at the party to go (yikes) trick or treating. What is a Mama to do??? Trying to be in the world, not of it.....be balanced and moderate, not blindly, black & white......temper Love & outreach with making a stand for Christ....ugh! My heart's desire is to teach my children to think for themselves, make wise choices, Love God with all their hearts, and others as themselves. I don't want robots, I don't want to isolate them or make them feel so deprived or controlled that they one day rebel to see what freedom feels like. I want to teach them the Truth, mirror Love, give them appropriate boundaries, and increasing choices so that THEY choose what is right for themselves one day.

Sometimes I forget that they can be just as bright of a light now, they can make changes now, and they can make their own trickles that affect their future as well as others. It isn't just about their future choices, but the small, every day, ho hum choices that make the difference NOW! :) I love little people.

So, finally....after much digression, I reach my point. All the kids were gathering their vessels to fill with brightly colored tooth rotting morsels, when Zoe emerged from a room very distraught. She had been talking with a friend who was brave enough to tell her the blatant truth about Halloween. Her friend's family had already discussed the holiday, and decided they weren't going to trick or treat. Zoe was devastated to find out it really had nothing to do with God, but more to do with celebrating the dead. :I (once again....a strong case can be made for "remembrance" of the beloved deceased, as well) Anyhow....she was crying, and said, "I DON'T want to go trick or treating, and I DON'T like the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause either!!! None of them have anything to do with Jesus....and THAT is what it is all about, anyway!" sniff sniff....proud Mama moment....dilemna diverted....by her very own conviction. That's what I'm talkin' about!

I am quite sure there will be many, many more moments of shame, indecision, joy, & pride as the years go by.....but I have the assurance of knowing that I am not alone. Zoe has a relationship with her Heavenly Father that is intimate & her own. She has friends that teach her lessons as well. The trickle that her friend made when her Mama made a tough choice, affected her, my daughter's affected me. Sometimes, by the grace of God, my splashes make a difference...but most often, it is the little trickles of Love & Light that keep on going.